One week later

Jack groaned as he rolled over, pulling his head out of the wall. His vision was blurred, his feathers ruffled and his mind threatening to take hostile action. It was his induction into the Royal Guard all over again. A quick glance at the calendar clock mounted on his dresser revealed that a weak had passed in which his memories were blank and quick scan if the room revealed to be a complete mess with both zweihanders buried up to their hilts in a set of fixtures on the ceiling. His induction to the Royal Guards was definitely repeating itself.

It was then that the sight of a furless pink arm stretching out from underneath the covers of his cloud bed. Jack gave the covers a swift buck and they dissipated leaving behind the naked visage of his Irish drinking partner Finn.

Several thoughts went through Jack’s mind when it had made sense of the data fed to it by his bloodshot eyes.

How the hell does a human manage to stand on clouds?

What the hell is Finn doing naked in my house?

What the hell is Finn doing naked in my bed?

What the hell happened last night?

Why was there a scroll with the Royal seel taped to Finn’s face?

Those questions were soon to be answered as Finn gave out a moan.

"Ugh, stone th' bleedin' crows, bugger me, fells like m' 21st."

Finn sat up and looked around. Some questions came immediately to his mind.
1. Why and how were there clouds around?
2. Why am I naked?
3. Why is Jack here?
4. Why am I naked with Jack here?
5. What is taped to my face.
6. How can I be alive with a hangover this bad.

He quickly answered the questions as reasonably as his overloaded brain could manage.

1. Luck o' the Irish.
2. Must've been a hot night.
3. I was drinkin' with him just last night. Still gotta figure out who won.
4. Mental blank. Information restricted ~brain
5. Paper.
6. Curse o' the Irish.

"Jeesus Mary Joseph. Jack? Can ya' help me out here?"

"oh... uh, sure"

Jack walked over to where Finn lay, offering a wing to help lever the semi-conscious human onto his feet. There was no protocol for dealing with a situation like this this and his brain just shut down for a little while. Acting on trained instincts Jack checked Finn for injuries before remove the scroll from his face.

It bore not just the Royal seal but the personal seal of Princess Celestia. Jack quickly broke the seal on the scroll and began to read it aloud.

Dear Jack Knife

I would like to personally thank you for going far above and beyond the call of duty to render your service to your monarchs. It was an experience and a pleasure the likes of which I have not had for a very long time. I hope you enjoyed last night as much as I did and am looking forward to more nights of the same.

Yours sincerely,

Princess Celestia of Equestria

Ps. Don’t forget to bring your friend back as well; I don’t want Luna to feel out.
PPs. Feel free to leave the tuba behind next time.


Jack's face fell as he finished reading the letter and its full implications hit him with the full force of a stampeding herd of Buffalo. At that, his overtaxed brain carried out its threat and beat Jack into unconsciousness.

Finn groaned and sat up, rubbing his head. He looked around bleary-eyed, finding that he was still in Jack's room, still naked, and still hungover. He groaned some more, hoping that complaining would fix his throbbing head.

"geez Jak, y' didn't hav' t' go hittin' me 'ead like thaa'. This hangover's bad enough as is."

He noticed a mountainous pile of empty bottles and kegs in a corner of the room, with a single bottle of whisky still containing a mouthful at least of the sacred spirit. He managed to push back the pain just long enough to drag himself over to it.

"Hair o' the dog is amazing grog." He said as he downed it. "Now, where's me clothes?" He asked Jack, while casually scanning the room for them. The fact that he was likely in clouds, and the thought that this fact seemed plausible to him caused some mild concern.

Finn's face suddenly dropped as he remembered what the pony had been reading aloud before the beating. He did a double-take as he noticed the tuba amongst the pile of grog. He also noticed a photo album lying conspicuously on the dresser, next to a calendar clock that read 1 week's time had passed since the drinking contest. Just like his gang initiation. He also reminded himself that he probably didn't want to look at that photo album anytime soon, regardless of whether it might help him figure out the events of the past week.

Finn's question snapped Jack out of his stupor, now here was a problem that he knew how to deal with. The photo album no doubt contained compromising intel, protocol was explicit about this; obtain and secure if possible or destroy. It was quickly sequestered away in a tamper proof safe.

Finn's clothes were another easy problem and a systematic search of Jack's house had revealed them to be scattered all over his living room.

"We'll wait here for a couple of hours and then I'll give you a lift back to the surface. In the mean time though, me casa est sue casa." And with that, Jack collapsed and rammed his head through the wall that separated his living room from his kitchen.

His Captain would tear him a new one if she ever found out that he had given complete and possible hostile stranger a free run through his house while he lay buried in a wall and passed out. Jack wasn't overly worried about that though, the two of them were recovering from both a hangover of legendary proportions and a roll in the hay with Princess Celstia herself. The old girl was still quite spry for someone pushing 5000.

Finn stumbled into the bathroom, then promptly back out again. He began poking the pony on the back and asking;

"Hey, Jack, can ye' tell me why there's a pink pony passed out in a bathtub full of booze in there?"

He therefore slumped down on the wall next to the pony, wishing his head was strong enough to simply shove into a wall and forget about.

Jack pulled his head out of the wall and stared at Finn with bleary eyes.

"There's a pink pony in my bathtub which is filled with booze" Finn just nodded and led Jack upstairs to the main bathroom, positioned directly across the hall from his bedroom. It wasn't a particularly large or lavish bathroom, the bath and toilet against the left wall and a small shower and the sink on the opposite side of the room. True to Finn's word the bathtub was indeed full to the brim with ice, booze and pony. The pink earth pony in question lay almost completely submerged with only the tip of her rump and her nose resting above the surface. She was very, very pink, with her tail resembling a mass of cotton candy despite the amount of liquid it held. On her flank were three party balloons.

Even in its half dead state Jack's brain could recognize a dangerous situation and it decided to act first and give reasons when it was safe.

"Evac! Evac! Evac!" Jack hit Finn with a textbook perfect linebacker tackle and just kept going on the most direct heading away from danger. The cloud his bedroom door was made of vanished with a poof before his headlong charge. Jack grabbed one of his swords in his teeth on his past before slamming through the exterior wall with a very confused Irishman hanging from his forelegs.

Had anypony been looking to the sky at that moment they would of seen a fear and adrenaline fueled russet steak leaving local airspace at a speed that would have made NASA jealous.

Finn stared at the ground bewildered.

"Uh, Jack? It's nice of ya' t' give me me prize and all, but do ya' think ya' coulda' let me put some clothes on first?" He asked with slight amusement.

He couldn't do much hanging on for dear life, but his headache reminded him that the hangover was coming along for the ride, and perhaps the pony had a hangover? Could magical ponies get hangovers? What happens to a flying magical pony with a hangover when he flies? Why did the pink one scare Jack so much? All of these questions were rushing through Finns head.

It is said that the candle that burns twice as bright burns for only half as long and this was so. Jack had put a respectable distance between himself and the pink menace before he began to slow, losing altitude in a long glide that ended in a small clearing in a forest.

Jack finally let go of Finn once they had touched down, the human stumbling slightly as he got his footing back. "Sorry 'bout that, instinct." Jack said, rubbing the back of his head nervously. "um... wait here for a bit, I'll go get you some more clothes."

Jack took off, a cloud of leaves trailing after him into the sky. Navigation was ingrained into the very DNA of all Pegasi, Jack could make his way back home while literally out cold. Even with the manticore that was tearing at the inside of his head getting back to town was foal's play, he was only a few dozen miles out.

After three quarters of an hour, true to his word, Jack had returned with a plastic bag full of clothes in his mouth. "ptt... I had to guess your size but these should fit well enough."

Finn graciously picked up the bag, glad to see the pony had the sense of mind to drop in what was probably one of the last bottles of whisky left in the state. He selected some decent warm-weather clothing and pulled it on blearily, before taking a slug of the whisky and offering the bottle to Jack.

"Thanks for that Jack. I do think I might head to the waterfall I seen while flying in now and clear me head, try and remember what happened during th' past week. Would y' mind giving a poor Irishman a lift home later on?"

Jack accepted the bottle happily and had some as well, though he didn't remember putting that in the bag.

"Sure Finn, just yell when you need dust off. I need to blow off some steam anyway," Jack nodded at the sword that was leaning against a tree. "I haven't had the chance to properly practice anyway. Stay safe me friend" Jack patted Finn on the shoulder as he turned to leave, then picked up his Zweihander, taking note of the blunted edge and extra weight of his practice blade. The clearing hummed as Jack started to swing his sword through the first movements.